The Gap

There has recently been a lot of lamenting about the economy and for good reason. The list of obvious ills is well known, but what the heck:

1. Unemployment is up
2. Savings rates are in the negatives
3. Foreclosures at record rates
4. US deficits are sky-high

These are only symptoms of larger problems in our society and government; problems that we can all see and sense and agree on. I have to borrow an idea from my favorite MSNBC host Rachel Maddow. She has previously noted that there are certain issues that are so inflammatory that both ends of the political spectrum take sharp turns and run into each other.

I mention this because the tea parties have a lot of things right. Where we depart company is the focal point of their righteous anger is the government where I would say it’s the corporations. Our government has been corrupted by capitalism.

Our economy at this point and for the years I've been around has been designed so we serve it. We have been sold a bill of goods that equates company and Wall Street profits to economic success. This is the continuation of trickle-down theory which refuses to die even after being proven wrong. Trickle-down is the cousin of disaster capitalism for which the cannibalism phase is a natural outgrowth.

This has become all too real to me recently over the last 6 months as people close to me have lost their jobs. This has ranged from recent college grads to my mom who has been working forever. These people have or will be without health insurance as long as they are without jobs. It is getting easier and easier to fall through the gaps in our society as the social safety nets have been completely shredded. I believe it is time for us to reassess our social contracts and constructs, to refocus our energies on supporting and advancing individuals over corporations. To continue to have these gaps is irresponsible, embarrassing and just plain stupid. It’s time to fill in the gaps.

I and Love and You

I've re-entered the dating scene after what has been a long hiatus; actually I am not even sure that I can consider what I used to do as dating. So far I have met and gone out with two women. The first one was one and done; the story of the second is still being written.

The first thing I've realized in this newfound dating life is that my lifestyle is not conducive to meeting eligible women:

1. I have weird hours
2. I'm about 60 in my head
3. I'm quite timid on first contact

The weird hours are an obvious detriment. I end up being a complete bore as I wake at 5am and am unable to effectively communicate after 9:12pm. I'm home at 4:30 most days at which point I never feel like dragging myself to a happy hour and such. Half the time I feel like strangling someone who cut me off or people who park like assholes on my block.

I'm obviously still a spry 28 year old but which 28 year old uses "spry" to refer to themselves. I'm pretty steady and reliable and I tend to carry myself that way. My first choice of a car was a sensible hybrid, I only considered spinners after I saw my cousin's fisher price first Escalade. I like a good drink in moderation - I'm getting bored describing how boring I am.

I've always joked that I would take Martha Stewart over Alicia Keys, but, I am beginning to think I may like older women; someone more my speed. I would come home after a long day and I would call Martha over for a glass of red wine. We'd have some small talk about politics, food and the undue corporate influence in our society and both of us would be tuckered out at 9 or so.

The last and certainly not the least of my problems is that I am shy on first contact. I also can't understand rejection or being rejected. I am sure that I am better than 98% of the bozos out their yet I have experienced rejection. What is worse is the type of rejection I've been party to.

I feel like I have been dealt the weirdo card a couple times. Kinda like the pimple you find on your nose and ignore with the hope it just realizes it isn’t welcomed. It would have been easier on me if I got a call that went something like this: "I realize that you're a great guy and you would be wonderful for me, but I'm whack. I don't want you to waste anymore of your valuable time on a lost cause like me. Goodbye." It doesn't have to be word for word but you get the idea.

I've been given lots of advice along the way. The best has been to regain my confidence. To do that I must come to the realization that I am the most interesting man in the world. I started off that quest by finding interesting things about myself, everything, and then breaking some of my tendencies. I started with a trip to a semi local bar and am trying to actively engage people I meet at the green market. I am sure that this is like anything else, it takes work. Eventually I will reach the point where I find someone I can say those words to "I and Love and You."