I was introduced recently to a gentleman name Gucci Mane. I first heard his lyrical genius on 106 and Park last Thursday. Due to his single "Freaky Girl" I now respect Fifty Cent's lyrical fitness. The first clue that a song is going to be particularly crappy is if it starts with the hook. The second clue is if the hook is extremely crappy. So without further adieu:
She A Very Freaky Girl Dont Bring Her To Mamma
First You Get Her Name Then You Get Her Number
Then You Get Some Brain In The Front Seat Of
The Hummer Then You Get Some Brain In The Front
Seat Of The Hummer
[x2]
Terrible... His many talents include a completely garbage flow and a fundamental lack of understanding of how to rhyme. "Mamma" and "Number" don't actually rhyme but they can kinda sound alike of you mispronounce either, or both, really badly. While "Hummer" and "Hummer" do rhyme he only got that one right because he does not bother to come up with another line for his hook.
I could almost forgive the aforementioned sins; after all it's only a hook. His transgressions, however, do not stop here. His very first line was uttered by Rick James and with more flare and style by this pioneer of funk.
I believe the second line of his hook can be best dismissed with a famous biggie line. "Who they attractin with that line, 'What's your name what's your sign' ." By the way, that last quote from Biggie is better than any line Gucci Mane could dream of coming up with.
I will leave you with this gem:
Dont Be Conceded Girl I Know You Here Girl I
Know Ya Secret Girl But Im Gon Keep It Girl
Oh You's A College Girl Be A Gucci Girl Oh
You A Gucci Fan Let's Go To Gucci Land You
Diggin Gucci Man Cause Only Gucci Can Drop
A Stack Pop You Back Wit A Rubberband You
Diggin Gucci Gucci Let's Do The Cuchi Cuchi
Oh That's You Girlfriend Why Dont You Introduce Me
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2 comments:
Rather than actually comment on this, I'm going to post a different lyrical gem for you:
"The bottom line is, it was a malicious hit. It was uncalled for,'' Johnson said. "He's like the scarecrow. He wants to get courage while I wasn't looking, and hit me in my knee instead of trying to hit me in my head. God don't like ugly, you know what I mean?"
"My knee ain't never hurt like it hurt today,'' Johnson said. "If you want to hit me, hit me in my head, hit me in my chest, don't hit me in my knee. I'm trying to eat just like everybody else. So, to hit me like that, that showed me what type of man he was.''
I could't even make it through that last stanza, I think I lost it after "Gucci Land." Is that like a corporate sponsorship for Rye Playland? I must not be freaky enough to understand.
Far worthier of your TV time: Kendra from Girls Next Door on Celebrity Rap Superstar. What what!
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