Physical Therapy Day One

This should be called voluntary torture; Can torture ever be voluntary?

So I started physical therapy in earnest today. It was immediately more enjoyable because my doctor did not ask me to "get into something more comfortable" A hospital gown isn't more comfortable than my bball shorts and t-shirt.

"This will be uncomfortable but should not be painful." You never want to hear the person taking care of you start off like this. "I should know what it is. I think it uses electricity but it doesn't shock you." At this point any sane person would have bailed out of the doctor's office or at least request that someone with knowledge of electricity clarify what was to go on next.

My knee got all tingly when the med student placed the pads on and turned on the device. It was something out of Star Trek: a Transcutaneous Electrical Nerve Stimulator. It stimulated the heck out of me for about 15 minutes until my knee was like Frankenstein invigorated by the bolt of lightning harnessed from the storm. (Did I work too hard for that one?)

Then came the sonar and the massaging. I don't care what Lbo says, there is nothing like the able hands of a professional masseuse; doesn't matter if it is a man or a woman. My physical therapist attempted to distract me with massaging and secretly bend my knee. I quickly let him know I was well aware of his tricks. "I know what you are trying to do. You are trying to bend my knee!!!" He stared at me blankly as if to say "Um that's kinda what we are here for." I did not dignify his stare with a response.

The rest of the workout was pretty simple leg lifts and hamstring lifts coupled with great pain and grimacing. This was topped off by cycling at .003 miles per hour as this is all I could do without weeping like a little baby. I am not quite sure how to explain it, but whenever there was a great deal of pain my foot would go into a nervous tap or shake until the pain subsided. Odd.

All in all it went well. I went to the supermarket to get some strawberry cheesecake ice cream as a treat to myself for being such a brave young man but had no luck...