Contents Under Pressure May Settle

Brilliant! Brilliant!

A lot has gone on in the last month and a half since my last posting. Most of it probably isn't at all interesting to anyone, myself included. For instance on Saturday I had this brilliant idea to bring back my beard. Growing a beard, while awesome, is not a unique idea. The absolute brilliance was the thought that if I trimmed my head hair lower than my beard hair then my beard would look less wimpy. Instead, I look kinda like a fat Reuben Studdard now.



Turning Point...

After becoming a citizen I had to face to reality that I once again could not vote. I decided to do the next best thing; I took my own advice and visited http://domorethanvote.org; I signed up for a "Rock the House (and Senate) Party." I got up and headed to Bed-Stuy by about 7am not knowing exactly what to expect out of that day.

It took about a half-hour before I was selling a candidate like a pro. I dealt with a great deal of people that day, actually I dealt mostly with answering machines which makes for quite an awkward conversation. The people I did speak to were mostly on the way to work and wanted nothing to do with me. At the end of the event I really felt like part of this great democracy.

Hear me now... bad

Kinda on the same theme of following through with things you believe in, I've switched my cell to Cingular; because I believe orange goop is cute. The really wanted to choose Verizon because most of the people I call are with them but ultimately I went with my conscience. The union busting tactics and general mean spirited lobbying done by Verizon was more than enough to get me going to Cingular; the only wireless company with a union. http://www.cwa-union.org/

Post(poned)

There is more to come but I better get this one up before it gets lost like everything else has over the past month. Upcoming highlights: Housewarming Party, Wonder Twins and "Crap I got off Craig's List."

Citizen James

Two weeks ago today I officially became a United States citizen. The day of the ceremony started like any other, I got up to the sweet sounds of my upstairs neighbors going at it (yelling). I got myself together and headed out with some of my close family and friends. When we got to Federal Plaza we were herded into the line and ordered about by the Federal Officers.

When we got into the doors I found myself belt-less and explaining that I was not carrying any weaponry. With the contents of my pockets, everything that allowed me to stay in the country, placed in a tiny basket I stopped and spoke to the guard. "You see I just had knee surgery so I have a brace on." The officer attempted small talk with me. "Why did you have surgery." I went on to explain that I had osteoarthritis in my right knee, which always brings people to a pause. "Ho does a young guy like you get that?" He directed me to the metal detector and I explained to him that it was from years of basketball. He looked me over "You better be good."

The detector went off as I walked through. "I am going to have to touch you" the guard on the other side of the detector warned. There wasn't any "bad" touching like I was warned about in elementary school to be careful of.

When we were finally upstairs I was directed to the super secret area for the aliens; Jwow of course had to explain that she wasn't there to be naturalized before she was allowed to proceed. As I sat down during the ceremony I found myself reflecting on the day and my life up to that point. I came to the realization that I had done this little dance a thousand times. I had been "naturalized" before several times: when going through airports and at the Liberty Bell and countless other places with security checkpoints.

America has become one giant fear machine and this has been relayed to me a thousand ways since 2001. I have felt helpless over these five years as I have matured from a teenager to the person I am today. I haven't been able to partake in the most important expression of our freedoms and opinions as Americans. Like all the years before I have to sit this election cycle out. I feel helpless as I cannot directly affect the election, I can't cast a vote.

This is of course extremely pessimistic as there are lots of ways that we all can make a change. Political action comes in several different forms. I believe that it needs to start on a one to one level; if we can just reach out to one person and have that person reach another, the possibilities are endless. At this time of the year we can take part in get out the vote efforts, poll watching and donations.

Do more than vote. Make a real difference. http://domorethanvote.org

So, when you moving in?

We've been working on the place non-stop. Here are some pictures of the Work in Progress

Painting of the Dr Seuss wing

Red Hot Chili Pepper

It's all coming together

Stealth Mode

Viva La Resistance

My bionic knee actuator has been turned on; now I can flex my knee. In fact, now I make it a point to flex on everyone. I believe a famous reggae artist once said "Flex uh, Time to have sex uh..." I'm just saying is all. With this latest development I am finally able to bike with resistance. I own Level 2 elevation; A 15 MPH speed demon.

I'm kinda happy that I can now hobble around a little faster. I also no longer come off as a colossal jerk on buses and subways. The cane and leg enhancements still cause old ladies to give up their seats to me; a definite plus.

Going off in a little bit to see the new place. Any one who wants to volunteer for painting duty. If you are not available for duty we have tons of other things we can use some help with. Please volunteer we don't want to have to use our powers of persuasion. "Resistance is futile." Geeky Star Trek references aside, any help that can be given would be appreciated.

Breaking Backs

Break beats like B-Girls and B-Boys
Breakdancing, kicking up the noise
Breaking through again like Andre 3k
Fracturing ankles like NBA Live 2k
Smash brothers we bash brother
Your response is just a stutter
cause I Rupture your time-space
Set us up the bomb on all your base
Breaking backs like the treacherous one
the Venomous one
You still on the starting line
while I'm on the finishing one
Shatter glass I sonic boom clear the room
Horseman with a Severed head foreshadowing your doom
Crack ladies crack babies

....

Not quite done. This was partially inspired by Lbo because he kept repeating "I break backs like Venom." I thought a line like that needed an equally crappy rhyme; Maybe it's the rhyme that's crappy and not the one-liner.

New Shoes

So when are you guys moving into your new place? What is going on with that apartment thing? Are you ever gonna get that condo? You mean you don't know about the condo yet? After many variations and permutations of original questions such as the ones above, we finally have an answer.

We've got the place, please stop asking. Really, stop asking. Don't start asking about the housewarming party; If you don't know the date we set then you are probably not invited. Please save everyone the trouble of having a really uncomfortable conversation just cause you think you are important.

This has been a test of the emergency asshole system. If I were actually an ass I would have meant all of the above. Over the last couple of months L and I have been stressing over the condo and at times felt like being jerks when asked for an update. Didn't seem like it all the time, but the truth is that we appreciate that everyone kept us on their minds.

Soon it will be time to celebrate. We'll let you know when and where as soon as we do the whole moving in thing.

Talk Like A Pirate Day

Arrrgh.

Physical Therapy Day One

This should be called voluntary torture; Can torture ever be voluntary?

So I started physical therapy in earnest today. It was immediately more enjoyable because my doctor did not ask me to "get into something more comfortable" A hospital gown isn't more comfortable than my bball shorts and t-shirt.

"This will be uncomfortable but should not be painful." You never want to hear the person taking care of you start off like this. "I should know what it is. I think it uses electricity but it doesn't shock you." At this point any sane person would have bailed out of the doctor's office or at least request that someone with knowledge of electricity clarify what was to go on next.

My knee got all tingly when the med student placed the pads on and turned on the device. It was something out of Star Trek: a Transcutaneous Electrical Nerve Stimulator. It stimulated the heck out of me for about 15 minutes until my knee was like Frankenstein invigorated by the bolt of lightning harnessed from the storm. (Did I work too hard for that one?)

Then came the sonar and the massaging. I don't care what Lbo says, there is nothing like the able hands of a professional masseuse; doesn't matter if it is a man or a woman. My physical therapist attempted to distract me with massaging and secretly bend my knee. I quickly let him know I was well aware of his tricks. "I know what you are trying to do. You are trying to bend my knee!!!" He stared at me blankly as if to say "Um that's kinda what we are here for." I did not dignify his stare with a response.

The rest of the workout was pretty simple leg lifts and hamstring lifts coupled with great pain and grimacing. This was topped off by cycling at .003 miles per hour as this is all I could do without weeping like a little baby. I am not quite sure how to explain it, but whenever there was a great deal of pain my foot would go into a nervous tap or shake until the pain subsided. Odd.

All in all it went well. I went to the supermarket to get some strawberry cheesecake ice cream as a treat to myself for being such a brave young man but had no luck...

Don't Blame Tony Jaa

In the interest of full disclosure I must confess that I am a huge Tony Jaa fan. His charisma and lack of acceptance of the laws of physics makes for great action. Tony was never told that humans can't walk on walls; so it is no surprise that he succeeds at doing just that. I'm absolutely surprised that he hasn't tried flying yet.

With that out of the way I would ask that you please do not blame Tony Jaa for "The Protector." He obviously did above and beyond all that was asked of him. Unfortunately they asked him for "ridiculous." I believe the direction went like this:

Lame Director: "Tony, do you think you can break his pinky with the back your knee"
Tony: "Sure, anything you say"
Lame Director: "O yeah, you need to repeat this about 100 times for a bunch of dudes all dressed in black"
Tony: "I really prefer using my knees and elbows to do awesome moves. I believe this is truly my strong point"
Lame Director: "I've already cut the movie in such a way to make the story incomprehensible. Now I want to ruin your action scene."
Tony: "I'm totally humble and respectful so I won't hit you with a flying knee or elbow"

The director clearly has it out for Tony Jaa, probably because unlike Tony he doesn't respect people. I really don't know the reason for having hate in his blood but it couldn't have been anything malicious on the part of Tony.





Flying Knee...

Things that happen when time passes

Nigerian super food

You've probably heard lots of lies concerning some excellent Nigerian food(Check out ATBV). It may not be for the faint of heart, or the weak of stomach, but if you give it a chance you will be pleasantly surprised.

What To Do At The Nigerian Restaurant:

Order the mixed meat: it can't possibly taste as bad as it sounds. Meat that is mixed with even more meat is a truly ingenious creation. The combination really brings out the meaty flavor of the meat; I would recommend this for all the vegetarians out there.

Expect your waiter to get back to you when he is off the phone. You wouldn't want to interrupt would you?

Expect that your waiter will embody the philosophy of a hustler.

Take advantage of the time you have with your waiter cause it's mighty precious. He cannot spend all day with you as he has to get back to the hustle.

Order the Goat head.

Order the yam cause it's an essential part of eating with your hands.

Be Nigerian. If not expect your waiter to help you out by bringing out the best Nigerian super food.


First day of work

After two weeks of recovery I went back to work on Monday to do some negotiating. I really needed Samuel L Jackson but I did alright for myself. I tried taking the express bus to work and was quickly reminded that traveling through lower Manhattan on September 11th is a terrible idea.

On any other day the bus would go right up Church street to my job but through bad luck and even worse planning I was kicked off the bus somewhere under the Brooklyn Bridge. I was approximately 10 blocks away from my job at that point.I tried hopping into a yellow cab and was turned away when I told the cabbie where I was headed to.

A rocket pack would have come in really handy for my trip to work as my 10 block hobble took almost an hour and a half to complete. If anyone has a spare rocket pack please let me know.

Telecommute

I start physical therapy tomorrow and started working from home today. I consider it as a duty to the rest of humankind and the earth now that I am no longer part of the morning and afternoon rush. I can serve my community, my job and the world the best laying in bed and responding to the needs of my job. I can assure you that I take no joy in working in my pajamas with my feet up while sipping on a cocktail.

Bionical Man

Out From the Frying pan-Into the Fryer

I was really looking forward to my doctor's visit yesterday. It's been approximately ten days after surgery I was on my way to have my stitches removed and feeling great. I popped into the office and right into the X-ray room for stills of my surgically repaired knee. On a side note, the technician saw no problem with me using my cell phone while in the room. I used my better judgement and got off the phone before I was turned into the Incredible Hulk.


As I lay on the table waiting for the doctor I began to drift away into dreamland; I was crossing over everyone on the court with the quickness. Little did I know what was actually in store for me. Unfortuantely all I am capable of doing now is going to see crossover, greatest basketball movie ever. White Men Can't Jump be damned.

So What did they do to you?

My doctor told me that he actually did the microfracture; He drilled several holes in my knee. He also scooped out the crap, technical term, which was on the right side om my right knee. I was albe to get a copy of the cam shots of my knee but all got was this T-shirt... Actually it was a black and white photopy which does not translate well so these color images aren't actully my knee but some other poor soul.

After our little talk it was time to me fitted formy brace. I expected a soft brace and a welcomed return to the land of flexing my knee. Instead I was introduced to a "cast alternative", megalabrace. This fantastic contraption reaches from my crotch to my ankle and requires the entire area to all move together in the same direction. It is an awe inspiring bionic attachment and at the same time a fushtrating figure four leg lock. (Perhaps that was a not a perfect metaphor but what is these days?)

Finding the Pirate Inside

After a little over a week without much exposure to the "outside" or "sunlight," it seems that my reflexes have been slowed quite a bit. There is the obvious fact that I've been physically slowed by a surgically repair knee; I've learned to do a lot with my mighty cane but I think J$ is now officially faster than me.

On top of the fact that I am now slow, I've now lost the element of surprise. With the "tock" and "clack" of my cane I can be heard from a mile away. My dreams of being a super secret agent have been completely dashed. It is not all doom and gloom, I've found my pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.

Massive beard. Check. No running water. Check. Special chest. Check. Peg leg .... Limp and cane. Close enough. That's right folks. I've been surgically reconstructed into a pirate. I don't know why I didn't see this before.


The obvious links between pirates and my current reincarnation are quite obvious-much more so than let's say Iraq and terrorism. O wait... I also forgot one important element of pirate-dom, the hook. Here again my cane shines.


It seems that since I've gone beard everybody is doing it. Phantom and Paul Giamatti are two examples that come to mind right away. None are nearly as awesome but I am proud that they are trying to be like me.

Developing an awesome beard is a lot more than meets the eyes; This is about finding the true you. Underneath the rugged exterior are complex features and tenderness concealed by the mask. Grizzled from the experiences of life it is only right that we take on the features of the stately grizzly. Let us all look inside and find that man-bear who sails the high seas, a pirate.

"Some Call it Vicodin"

"I call it my friend"

I claimed yesterday that I was pain free, this is no longer true. Somewhere around Tuesday night and Wednesday morning I started feeling what I thought was a cramp. I am now sure after waking this morning that it was most certainly real pain. I tried as I could to fight the urge to take any medication early in the morning but I finally broke down-I began fumbling through pain killers. This fumbling went on for several hours. Fumbling with a cane and bottles of pills is as difficult as it sounds. I finally decided to curl up with a box of Wegmans "clusters" cereal and soy milk, don't ask, along with OJ and Vicodin. Yup, I passed up on the extra strength Tylenol or Percocet and went for the Vicodin; bad idea.

See, I failed to grasp the finer point of having the drugs after finishing off my meal. Before I knew it I felt nauseous, my vision became blurry and my body became quite weak. I think I got hot flashes as well. It was not pretty. It all broke within ten minutes but i didn't feel right for the rest of the day. I love to eat but as a result of this experience I'm still having trouble to keep down any food.

It's really amazing what can be done with a cane.

Cane Accomplishments

• take pictures
• put on shorts

A Cane only goes so far

3.5 feet to be exact

I had my surgery yesterday and everything went alright. My mom and X stayed at the hospital while they operated on me. I was told that I was only going to be put under local anesthesia but the concoction I got was as general as could be. Before I knew it I was stripped down to less than my skivvies but adorned in the latest hospital fashion. It was a colorful outfit with and open back that is all the rage these days. Anyway, I don't recall anything from my operation at all. One minute I was on the table and the next minute I was being helped into a wheelchair. A little groggy, definitely hungry soon I was snacking on my fair share of graham crackers, cranberry juice and ginger ale.


I caned along to the car with my old-man cane but it was not until I got into the car that I first figured out the true power. I slid myself into the back seat of the car and then I was in a bit of a pickle. With my leg stretched out across the back seat of my car I couldn't reach the door on the far side of the vehicle. This is where the 3.5 feet of reach came in handy, I didn't have to move-the cane would do the work for me.








Now I am a professional with the cane. I can operate my air conditioner, lights and various other devices by "remote." I've also discovered several enhancements in windows so I can use the computer more effectively. As a matter of fact I've almost fully mastered typing while laying comfortably on my back. I find that the accessibility options such as the magnifying glass and the on-screen keyboard are quite helpful in addition to wireless keyboard and mouse.

I'd be all set if I had a grabbing stick.

O-Oh Word? Oh Really?

So I am off to have knee surgery tomorrow. Many posts ago I wrote about my osteoarthritis so I won't bore you further with the technical aspects. I'll be home for two weeks on sick leave. I will enjoy things such ask sleeping in and waking up late. I may throw a curve ball like not leaving my bed all day just to mix it up.

Oh Word?

In an attempt to steal my thunder X has decided to have his engagement party this weekend. He just had to make his big celebration the same as my big operation. It's going to be some crazy ceremony with paint and incense flying everywhere. There also gonna be lots of food, most of it containing various forms of curry (Just kidding). I heard the bride and groom to be also exchange sweets which I hope will then be crammed into my mouth.

Oh Really?

I spoke to Jwow today for like 1/2 hour. Seems like she is enjoying the time in South Africa though she's a little disappointed by the limited time she has there. It seems that there is so much to do but it's also quite difficult and a little dangerous to get around; especially as a foreigner.

That's all I got for now. I need to stuff my face now cause I am not allow to eat after 12 am and my operation won't be done till about 2pm. I am gonna be one hungry hungry person at that point.

Deep Thoughts/Time

Perhaps you recall the last entry concerning the Anatomy of a Blog. One of the elements was the computers program which picks the best. Well I have been able to circumvent the system and pull out the rejects as well as some pieces midway through "Monkey Processing". It's kinda like a computer or a word processor except entirely powered by monkeys, it's my own personal invention. Some might say that this is merely an attempt to thread crap, I take offense to those of you who think like that. Those types of thoughts are quaint and that happens to be the beginnings of one of my entries.

quaint

One entry found for quaint.

Main Entry: quaint

Pronunciation: 'kwAnt

Function: adjective

Etymology: Middle English queinte, cointe, from Anglo-French, clever, expert, from Latin cognitus, past participle of cognoscere to know -- more at COGNITION

1 obsolete : EXPERT, SKILLED

2 a : marked by skillful design India ink -- Herman Melville> b : marked by beauty or elegance

3 a : unusual or different in character or appearance : ODD b : pleasingly or strikingly old-fashioned or unfamiliar

synonym see STRANGE

- quaint·ly adverb

- quaint·ness noun

This was initially rejected because it didn't lead to any positive statements concerning pirates, music or Brooklyn. I could have just stuck random references in there but that would lead to incoherent ramblings and there is no way I want to be known for that.

The following almost made it through till the forces of football, not the American kind, killed my writing flow.

Paper or Plastic?

My world view has literally been crushed after finding out that when posed with this question on the line at the market my natural choice would be the wrong one. So I started to think of other false choices I am faced with in life.
Which came first, the chicken or the egg? See the problem at hand is that this question does not take evolution into consideration. So this is how it works. um worked.

Heat the oil in a large heavy-bottomed soup pot and sauté the breasts until they are light brown, about 5 minutes. Remove the breasts and set aside. Add half of the onions and sauté until translucent, approximately 4 to 5 minutes. Remove and set aside. hmmm Um alright so that isn't quite the explanation of the primordial soup but it is the beginnings of what looks like an excellent chicken soup recipe. Check it out at http://www.reluctantgourmet.com/chicksoup.htm

I don't think I really fully explained the paper or plastic thing. The first thing you think of when posed with this questions is how environmentally safe paper is. Paper bags can be made from recycled materials. The second obvious plus for paper is it's potential to go back from whence it came. The sciencey enviro-folks like to call this biodegrading. Both things are completely true in a vacuum (I don't mean this literally) but are not quite so in the real world

North or South Korea

North Korea has Kim Jong Il and he has many Taep'o-dong. What could be better than a dude who kidnaps people from other countries to direct a film for him? Perhaps one who fancys himself as a rockstar, just check out his doo. Probably his most endearing quality is his willingness to starve his people for his greater good?

South Korea has Seoul. duh

Hockey or Soccer?

I managed to live through the world cup. It's not that I hate soccer, that's reserved for nascar.

This one was a reader submission that just didn't strike the correct note with the statisticians.

Apparently Hush Puppies were fed to dogs to keep them quiet as their human masters cooked.

Hush puppy I'm trying to cook!

That's about all the oldies but goodies I have for now. I hope nobody actually read this thoug. That would be paramount to watching one of those crappy recap episodes that shows through at you once a season.

I am sorry if I wasted anyone's time any more than usual. You should be enjoying SoaP instead.

Anatomy of a Blog Entry

I've started writing many pieces for this blog without actually posting. Some of you may think that blogging is a simple task but I would like to dispel that myth right here and now.

Bloganatomy 101

Life.
This requires more than just breathing in and out. Occasionally I find things like waking up and moving to the other side of my bed exhilarating. Some others
a) go to work
b) take walks in the park
c) attend functions such as parties, concerts and museums


Ideas.
No one knows exactly where "ideas" come from but I find that these are often fueled by the aforementioned "Life." The greatest scientific minds have been hard at work trying to solve this riddle but still have no idea. This is just the first part though. I pull ideas from everything around me, the sun, the wind, the leaves; I get in touch with the earth. Generally I find that the earth has some brilliant ideas.

I travel all across the world meeting different people just to know what is hot around the globe. I ask questions like: "What puzzles you about the world?” or "What are you excited about today?” Occasionally I pull out: "What kind of cheese do you think the Moon is made of?" Most of the time people just go on rants about Brooklyn; probably because it's totally awesome.

+

Statisticians and Monkeys
I prefer to call them number buffs. I get the number buffs to crunch all the data I collect and then present me with the top five topics. Then I begin writing about each topic. At this point my prose is filled with colorful anecdotes and alliteration which would make the greatest writers through the ages blush. It is then that I hand the text over to the monkeys who do the editing.

Triangulate
Figures out which article has the perfect nexus of piratical, Brooklyn(al) and musical references. This very complex program runs six days over six computers working in parallel at the end of which I have the perfect blog.

Snap Crap

For too long I have shunned "mainstream" music. Somewhere along the way I soured on the likes of Britney Spears and Nelly being played on great networks such as MTV and BET. Over the weekend I was exposed to some "music" on the radio and I finally got it.


I've heard it said that young people these days don't have any direction but I've discovered that they get directions from their music. Now don't get me wrong, I like an electric slide as much as the next man. I of course wouldn't know the electric slide from the electric car without the directions.

There are also several other small wonders of the same mold. There is a song that tells you that you "lean wit' it", you are then instructed to "walk wit' it", perhaps you have been told to ""1-2 step" or maybe to lean back.

The clearest one of them all is Lil Jon's "Snap your Fingers." An excerpt just for you:

Snap ya fingers! Do ya step!
You can do it all by yo self!
Let me see you do it! Ay!( 4-ize) do it! do it!
Let me see you do it! Ay!( 4-ize) do it! do it!

[lil jon:]
snap ya fingers!

[4-ize:]
ya monkey see monkey do im in tha derrty im dancin n im real country too

Or perhaps...

[Lil Jon:]
Snap ya fingers and then rock wit it
Do it, do it, do it, do it, gon drop wit it
Do a step wit it, put ya hips wit it
All my ladies let me see ya put a twist wit it
You can't do like me, I'm by myself
I do it so good, I don't need nobody else
What's happenin', what's up
Got da purk fired up

Since I dabble in poetry every once in a while I figured this is as good a time as any to try to flex
those muscles. I failed. I just couldn't out silly the actual songs. Jean Grae did a real good one at the concert two weekends ago. Too bad I can't actually remember any words to the chicken soup song or was it clam chowder? It had me cracking up.

To be fair to these modern-day musical moguls this is actually a tradition from back in the days.
From the "Bedrock Twitch", to negro spirituals like "Swing low, Sweet Chariot" and pop hits like "The Twist" all gave instructions. Who am I to judge the validity of "Snap your fingers," perhaps it has hidden meaning leading all people to the promise land.

Nah, it still blows.

Enough about weak nursery rhymes of Lil Jon. Check out some Big Boi of the last album. This song is on permanent spin in my mind.

Enjoy

Outkast - War Lyrics

Now get the fuck up off me nigga..



[Big Boi]

As I, struggle to keep my balance and composure

I'm 'posed ta, propose a toast to players on every coast-a

The lyrical roller coaster, mind-bender

'Stead of watchin these sucker MC's

I'm seein just how they lyin to the general population

Don't be patient, get up and stand up for your life

Don't you agree or understand we lost some rights at 1-1-9?

Come dumb, come young, come blind unwind confined

to the situation, we facin, cause in time, tick tick boom



[singers]

Tick, boom.. tick, tick-boom

Tick, boom.. tick, tick-boom

Tick, boom.. tick, tick-boom

Tick, boom.. tick, tick-boom



[explosion forward and reversed]

[scratched: "You're gonna die here" - 2X]



[Big Boi]

When will we all, awake up out this dream

Come here and smell the Folgers, the soldiers are human
beings

Man actin as if he was the supreme bein

Clockin the souls of men out like he was G-O-D and

W-A-Rrah, there'll be no tomorrow but sorrow

and horror will follow the hollow hearts battle for dollars

Politicians, modern day magicians

Physicians of death, more health care for poor health

Who makin us ill, they makin us kill

That's makin me spill my guts (chill Big, lay in the cut)

For what?  I refuse to sit in the backseat and get handled

Like I do nuttin all day but sit around watch the Cartoon
Channel

I rap about, the Presidential election and the scandal

that followed, and we all watched the nation, as it swallowed

and chalked it up, basically America you got FUCKED

The media shucked and jived now we stuck - damn!



[singing - "can't be heard clearly"]

[scratched: "You're gonna die here" - 2X]



[Big Boi]

Operation Anaconda - ask yourself

was it full of bleeps and blunders, did they ever find Osama?

And why in the fuck did Daniel Pearl have to pay the price

for his life and his wife plead twice?

See Al-Amin got life and Fred got dead, Hampton

To dampen the dream of all the Panthers

They got they answer for ransom

As we read together, as we dream together

Count your blessings whenever you feel that things won't be no
better

But it got to, you gave me this microphone so I must rock you

Your brainwaves, airwaves, energized and SHOCKED you

Y'all got me, well I got y'all, long as I know y'all listenin

I'ma always bring food for thought to the table in the
kitchen

Now eat nigga!

From Bx to SA

South Africa to be exact...






I am sure I've heard this at least one time but I never took it literally. Of course I am not the one going to South Africa, Jwow is. She'll be gone for like a year or something. Do you know how long a year is? How in the world am I going to remember things I did and need to do like bring my keys when I go home from work? The point is I won't. I will be living on the streets. Someone will try to help me find my home and I won't be able to contact anyone to supply information. Total and complete loss of everything. I mean, there is always X but he isn't nearly as available anymore. There needs to be some kind of transition of power back to "the cheif" or something.



How did this become about me? Am I that conceited? Yes. Wait, no. I dunno.

Back to the matter at hand...

Quite a bit has occurred since I started this post. First a bunch of us got together for a goodbye dinner. As usual instead of getting gifts for her going away she gave them. I know what you are thinking. Is this bizzaro world? No, it is jworld where things are completely flipped from how the real world works. She did the same thing on her birthday yet I was still surprised by the gift especially since it included a loofa. A LOOFA!!! The honey almond soap was appreciated though. As I stated on a previous posting, there is nothing like the exfoliating powers of almond.

Packing it...

Now let me introduce to you another part of jworld. Where packing essentials for a trip to South Africa includes oreos and crayons the evening before. The morning of the trip, approximately 6am, the extras such as pants, shirts and things of the like can be taken care of. Only in Jworld.

Second time is the charm...

I was asked one thing "pick me up at home and bring me to the airport." man did I bone that up. I arrived over an hour later than I should have. Then we hit a great deal of traffic; at the end of the day I was eating quail and Jwow was NOT on a plane. We decided to try again the very next day but it seems that we did not learn the lessons of previous excursion. I decided to take a new way to the airport. Total Genius. We arrived late. She was able to get on the plane though, second time is the charm.

Five days in the making...

Jwow is now safely in Capetown after a long exhausting journey. I started this post with the hopes of completing it before jwow left. That clearly did not happen. I'm proud that janjan was able to follow through with exactly what she wanted. No matter what was in her way. It is one thing to talk a big game, like me, it's another to quit your job and pay to volunteer clear across the Atlantic. I hope to have that much courage and dedication some day. It's friends like these who keep e grounded and working to be a better person every day. I'll cut it right there cause I am gonna get yelled at for getting too mushy by "j to the."

You better be having fun

MadLib

label me what you will
your insults sound shrill
while my rhymes is ill
i'll label you a jacker
a frail biscuit cracker
masquerading as a rapper
everybody wear a mask
grab the mic? you better ask
but first complete this task
alliterate ill incantations
inspring inconceivable masses

if you feel froggy just jump
to next dive bar and bump
jukebox favs as you dump
like 10 brews down in one gulp
your juice fiction like the pulp
strayed off topic my bad, mia culp

like haley's roots gotta stay plamted
in the wake of my tail like the comet
gimme a break chance that I wanted
be alright till clue drop a bomb on it
one day someone will copy my flo
prolly not but it's nice to think so

info flows straight from
my brain to my tongue
spit knowledge to the young
sneeze on you-with an achoo
good bless you-here's a tissue
rhymes extinct nobody will miss you

Lbo wrote something the other day called Mad Libs. It was for my birthday. In that spirit I asked one of my coworkers to suggest some words for me. She came up with Label, Jump, Plant, Information, Tissue. Most of it was written on Friday but apparently I am not supposed to by doing blog entries at work. Who would have known? Anyway. That's All I got. OOOOO anyone wanna use the words and do their own?

Boo Club

http://www.csmonitor.com/2006/0627/p01s01-usju.html

Book Club?

"Noodle Incident"...

http://www.csmonitor.com/2006/0627/p01s01-usju.html

Everyone knows I am an avid reader of the greatest work in literary history; From "Hop on Pop" which had a surprising ending to the funny pages which tend to be pretty darn funny. I will never forget the "Noodle Incident"... boy o boy. It seems that everyone is doing this reading thing now. Everywhere I go I see someone with a book or a newspaper. Most people are reading the daily rags like the Metro or AMNY; others read trash like the NY post and still there are all these books on a range of topics like getting fit for the summer and eating for the winter.

Oprah can do it...

Now that I have reached a ripe old age of 25 I've decided that I have studied enough to be able to make recommendations to people. That's right people, it's a book club. I mean Oprah can do it why can't I? Completely rhetorical. Such a good word. Anyone else know any good words? I actually think I prefer rhetoric over rhetorical but that really isn't the point. It's not such much a book club but just that I was introduced to a wonderful book and would like to sing it's praises. I suppose it becomes a club if I do this often.

I was recently given "Race Matters" and I must say it has left an impression on me. It wasn't that anything in there was particulary new or earth shattering but more so that everything was linked so nicely. Some people would think that i do not understand that race matters as I have a group of friends from highschool which is basically equivalent to the United Nations. (Though the only person who isn't an original American is me.)

Group Picture of my HS People

So I get distracted easily...

Really I do. Which is why it is quite important that this book is a fast read. Sadly there are no pictures but he tackles issues in a manner which is accessible and can be understood by everyone. It's not a book that focuses on the negative aspects but more so the history from all points of view. He offers solutions to every identified problem as he hopes one day after working through all of these issues race will no longer matter. Take a seat in your favorite book store and thumb trhough it. Tell me what you think.

Rhymes for no Reason

Untitled

Desire...
to be what you are not
to have what you cannot-leads down the road of unhappiness
to be better than what you are
to make the world better-leads to great things

I Want...
to be anywhere but here
to be strong
to be right but often am wrong

I want to be with you

I Wish...
to be a better man some day
to be an engineer
to be influential enough to change the course of this world
to be a great dad some day-leading little ones to unselfish things

I wish you were the one.

Untitled

who Am I?
how do I identify myself?
is it through your eyes that I judge?
through the looking glass I see
but is that really me?
distorted funhouse vision
obtuse and oblong, i can't fit in my own skin
insecure and unsure but what for
surely do not fit in your mold
this is what i know for sure

am I a black man?
"more LIKE white with a heavy tan"
"YOU talk white, yet say aight"
"you are not AUTHENTIC or afrocentric"
"show more LOVE for the sistas"
"be WITH your kind not mine"
"you have NO rep on the street"
"no CHANCE of being gangsta"

CondoMinimum

Good Morning Brooknah!

It's amazing how things change in 3 weeks. Remember how I whined and complained about housing ? Well I guess I have to take it all back. I found a place and I've been running around trying to take care of business. Banks, Lawyers, Real Estate agents, Brokers have all been pretending to be my friend over this period. Praising me at times and at times shunning me. It seems that everyone has their hands in my pockets. Maybe I don't want this place afterall, that was an obvious lie. hmmm I had pictures of the place up for about an hour last week but it seemed wrong to me to post pictures of somebody else's place. I mean it is practically mine now but something seemed wrong. So I've also spent time in the cyberville fabricating a house I can show off. I've even made some modifications on the place.















I am sure I had more important things to say and will post them later.

Friend indeed

Thanks Tina, For all your support

Can't help it...

This is a short post again mostly with pictures. One day soon I will write something significant.

Coney Island Station

Jwow took these pictures. It was a really beautiful Brooklyn day but when isn't it?

The hype man can be heard yelling "Shoot the Freak, Shoot the Freak. Shoot the Freak you" to a tune that could have been "Superfreak" by Rick James. That's only a guess since what he was sing-screaming didn't closely match the song at all

It's Huge!!!

In other news...

Remember when I said that the condo hunt was over? An interesting twist occurred yesterday. Got a call from an agent, saw a nice duplex and put an offer in today. I guess you never know.

Mind Full

It's obvious that things aren't what they're meant to be
The fact that we can't got me fucked up mentally
wish I had the words to open up your heart to me
so i can say the magic words like open sesame
better be a bevy of bomb blasts breaking backs like bane
I'd rather that than the pain
I feel when you are away
thought it was real but life is a mirage
Like trying to buy a Benz with money for a neon dodge
times it feels just right
just like we might
but I gotta fight
to keep sight of the light
and keep my thoughts tight

That's all I have so far. I started writing this on the train at the back of a business card on the way to chill with some friends. Don't have a title for it yet. I need some ideas.

I should be working on one that I actually have a beat for but I am without an MP3 player for now so it's kind difficult to remember the beat and write a 1/2 way almost decent rhyme. The name of the new piece is gonna be "new man."

This is Phantom's piece that I was supposed to post may 16th

Yo. This rhyme. It's like Mad Libs
Cause you fill in the blanks without giraffe ribs

April one five, tax day it's true
Also Sherman's birthday, damn who knew
The plans for the day, the itinerary
Janet kept it locked secret like the military
1 year older now a quarter century
It's been a beautiful struggle like Talib Kweli
That's the one clue, that I'll reveal
Maybe later on, we can catch a meal
Or head to the _____ to celebrate your b-day
Hope this yellow plastic bat ain't a dead giveaway
Gonna keep it Brooklyn centric as long as we can
Since 9th grade, you know you've been my man
Showed that heart of gold, morning volunterring
While DJ and I slept cozy in our beds
Whatever's next, no telling where Janet's steering
Clue #2 some pork fried duck heads
Middle of the day, gonna drop a big surprise
When _____ _____ and you won't believe your eyes
Once again props to Janet for organization
3 thumbs up like TiVO for Latin Nation
O know what else? We gonna blankety blank
At hmmm, but prolly not with Frank
Wanna hear how we did what we do?
The mystery'll be revealed when we get to part 2

AC/PC

Gambling Time

I didn't really take many pictures in Atlantic City. I figured that we were under enough surveillance in the Casinos. Our hotel room was extremely budget and was across from a crackhouse. I don't actually know if it was a crackhouse but it was boarded up and had several shady people coming in and out through the back. I definitely didn't take a picture of that. Here's a monkey







Snap back to reality...

Once again nothing substantial, just beautiful pictures.

German People are awesome...

It was actually my fault. See I was trying to take a timed picture so both of us could be in. However this German runner saw the precarious position my camera was placed in and offered to take it for us. I forgot that the timer was still on, well you see the results.













We were so stoked when we saw this. Alright that came off weird. Just a little enginuity.





All these pictures and I haven't gotten to Coney Island yet. I guess I will leave this for tomorrow.

I will insert witty comments later.